The Eternal Question

The Eternal Question

By Carlo Leon Sadang | 5 March 2022

Perhaps it is not the afterlife that seemed to be the most intriguing question of all time. I could be wrong but at least in these times, it is that thing called love. Though I would agree it is indeed the afterlife, people these days seem to be preoccupied with this question. Across the globe are soaring high cases of separations, annulment and of course infidelity which brings me to the question of why then is the most beautiful thing in this life to many, could also be the source of such great sorrow?

Eternal Question
The reality is we already know the answer. However, due to our lack of honesty and self-awareness, we tend to give the wrong answer most of the time. I would hear forever is gone and no longer true that is why love is no longer what it used to be. Duh! That’s like saying the flower has lost its fragrance because it is wilted. People associate the effect with the answer and this is a very sad state of human thinking. Forever ended when love ended. To some love is just an emotion or state of mind. Again, that is another mistake. We change our minds every day.

Zooming out from the issue, let us first talk about human nature. All humans have built-in pride and self-esteem in them. In the history of man, there was a man called Augustine (of Hippo) who made the great confession. He confessed everything and in fact, there was a book about these confessions. Well, he simply confessed all his immorality and sins he has done from as far as he could remember. Imagine that, confessing everything! 

Can we even do that? Imagine writing a book and showing it to the world exposing yourself and even if you did try to hide the names of those involved with your sins and criminal acts they would eventually be traced. Imagine the embarrassment and the pain it will cause to those who love you the most. You could lose everything. Now, what has this had to do with love then? I guess it would be another question: could we truly reveal everything to the person that we love. Every rotting secret and desire we had. Can we bring ourselves to the point of making ourselves completely vulnerable to the person we love? Can we afford to lose everything? This does not include confessions on the deathbed.

Now let us go to physics and maybe have another clue about love. If you go to the subatomic level you’ll see that the atomic particles are held together by this truly great force which they call the strong force. Why does it exist? Why holds the neutron and the proton in the center of the atom have such an inseparable force from two infinitesimally small particles? Even science can’t explain the why only the how. The strong force exists between neutrons and protons for simply being neutrons and protons and that they have to be together, inseparable and indestructible. Well, if they did separate imagine what that would do to humanity. We would all cease to exist. Imagine then if we had this strong bond that it would be unthinkable to separate from our partner whom we chose to love.

Now let us go to nature. Our children. Can we abandon them? Can we just forget about them when things get tougher? Just like the nucleus, it would be so hard for a parent to just leave their children. Humans in fact, even adopt. Yes there is that rare occasion when the parent uses his child for immoral and illegal acts and it is growing but still generally accepted parents normally don’t abandon their children.

My question then remains. Why is love the greatest cause of human pain and suffering when it is indeed supposed to be the most beautiful thing? The simple answer is that it was not loved to begin with. There was never love, only an illusion of it. You can fall in love at first sight or take years to develop but when you have it you have what the neutron and proton had, the unwavering attachment of a parent to his child and the surrendering of complete vulnerability to your better half and much more than that.

The answer is there was no love in the first place. You see, love is indestructible. It is consuming and giving and surrendering, but the second part is where we completely fail to observe. What about the other side? Love is reciprocal, isn’t it? It always has been. What lies in the other half of the equation? In A + B = C; you are not A and your partner is B. You are the A+B and she is the C but you cannot be on the same side of the equation. You can be X + Y = Z or any symbol you fancy for as long as your partner is on the other side. You are who you are but when you say you are in love that is a statement only the two of you can make. It can’t be made by just one and not merely words but by action. This is as far as I can go and I guess anybody could go to answering it.

Have you bothered to answer that question?

Carlo Leon Sadang

Carlo Leon Sadang is a technical researcher and an engineer. He currently finishing his ebook about ethical and moral standards. He is still actively working as an engineer while writing ebooks on the side. 


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